mother's day

along with celebrating my first mother's day, my brother and i spent time in evergreen to celebrate and remember our mother's life. we lost our mother to uterine cancer last september. exactly 8 months ago yesterday. lots of tears were shed as we drove up to evergreen and talked about the death of our mother and how we wished it hadn't happened.

we sat on the rocks overlooking the dam at the lake in evergreen. there we talked about how much we missed our mom and prayed that she would be watching over us. we were thankful for the close family that she helped create. we tried not to dwell on the sadness of her death but the happiness of her existence and our memories of her.

then we spread some of her ashes from our urns. we hope to make it a regular practice to spread her ashes and remember her as we heal from the pain of her death.

it was a very cathartic experience. we hadn't realized how much we needed to do this. sharing our pain with each other and taking the time to cry and just be present with God. we both felt better afterwards. we were thankful for the time that just the two of us spent together in honor of our mother. although it is extremely sad that we couldn't celebrate her in person. we miss her.

we talked about our fears of spreading ashes and how cremation is weird to us. we respected our mother's wishes to be cremated. she said she didn't want to occupy earth's physical realm after her death. she felt it was unnecessary. then comes the reality that her body was burned and her ashes were sitting in our hands...weird. but as we talked we recognized that whenever anything is burned it to becomes ashes...identical to our mother's ashes therefore demonstrating our connection to the physical world.

we are so thankful for the time that we did have with our mother. we have yet to fully understand the full impact she had on us.

in honor of louise c. meyerkord
1954-2006
we love you, mom! miss you.